Back to the Past
by origamikungfu
Summary: What became of the future Titans after Starfire left the future in How Long is Forever?, and what were things like after she disappeared 20 years earlier? Some BBRae, more to come...NEW STUFF! Ch. 7!
1. The Crossing of Paths

A/N: Yay! My second fanfic EVER! This started out as an idea I was just fooling around with one night that turned into a whopping ten pages worth of fanfic, so I decided that it would be a waste not post it. R&R please so I'll know if I should post more. Constructive criticism welcomed. 

P.S. For the moment, this fic is finished, but I've been considering continuing it….I don't really have a complete idea yet, but I was wondering if anyone would be interested. When you have finished chapter three, PLEASE send me a review and let me know!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans or Nightwing. However, I wish I did. Back to the Past Chapter One: The Crossing of Paths At the lair of Nightwing 

"Hang on guys, I'll be right back," Nightwing trailed off, leaving Raven, Beast Boy, and Cyborg alone in the large stone entrance of his lair. The three looked around in awe; the place was nothing more than a crudely furnished underground cavern, but its sheer size was more than amazing. Looking up above them, not a single one of the former teammates could even begin to make out the ceiling. At one end of the huge cave was a large computer screen with an equally sized control panel attached to it, and the dark passageway that Nightwing had disappeared through. At the other end was a shabbily put together sitting area, complete with a tattered couch, a beat up armchair and footstool, and a banged up coffee table.

Noticing the fairly good sized footstool, Cyborg made his way over to the small, seemingly forgotten area and parked himself there as he resumed observing his surroundings.

Beast Boy, on the other hand, already feeling as comfortable as he could, remained rooted to his spot in the foyer. The whole evening, ever since Star's mysterious reappearance in front of his cage down at the former boardwalk, and on, had been so surreal. And now, here he was in an unfamiliar place with three almost unfamiliar people left over from a shattered past. "Man, it's almost like this place _breathes_ loneliness," he whispered to himself, suddenly distracted by a feeling of chilliness. Changing thoughts again, he glanced over to his right to find that Raven had moved.

A little unsure of what to do next, and not wanting to take a seat yet, Beast Boy stood and watched her hooded figure as it drifted into the main room, her shadowed eyes full of concern, yet so distracted. He watched as she wandered over to the other half of the cave and around a corner that he really couldn't see from where he was standing. Curious to find out where she was going, and a little worried, Beast Boy managed to remove himself from his safe spot in the entrance to follow her.

Walking quickly to keep up with her, he turned the corner just in time to see her stop in front of a large glass case brightly lit by a single utility lamp inside the top of it. He just stood for a second beside the corner, his hands hanging at his sides, looking on at the sacred contents of the case. The very moment he saw it, he felt as though he had had the wind knocked right out of him, only from very deep inside. The sight of the familiar uniform, alone, caused millions of memories to blast back at him, both good and bad. Focusing back in on Raven, he watched as the bottom of her now white cloak shifted in the draftiness of the cave. Just looking at the back of her, he could tell from the way that her hooded head was slightly tilted back that she, too, was looking at the old suit and cape.

Still looking on, he watched as she drifted closer to the case, and pressing her hands and forearms against the glass, hung her head in despair. His heart felt weak as he watched her entire being tremble slightly in her loneliness. Slightly hesitant, for fear of disturbing her, Beast Boy approached her cautiously from her far right.

"Hey, Rei," he said in barely more than a whisper, as he stopped at her right, about a yard between them.

"Why did he leave…. Why did they all leave?" she quietly moaned in a distant, monotone voice, her eyes closed.

Allowing himself to move a little closer to her, Beast Boy spoke to her again, his voice gentle, "Rei, it's me…. I'm here now…."

Now standing directly beside her, he watched as her hands tensed against the glass and the tips of her fingers curled in.

_Oh no_, he suddenly thought to himself, sensing what was about to happen. At the very same moment the sound of shattering glass could be heard echoing throughout the cavern as the glass of the case exploded outward into millions of little pieces. Shielding his own eyes, Beast Boy pulled Raven back, as hundreds of the tiny shards came hurling straight for her face. As the echoing of glass falling against the hard rock floor died away, he removed his arm from around her, but she just looked up at him, and leaning her head back against his chest she moaned "Why did they leave?" and began to weep silently.

Half expecting her to throw him back against a wall with her powers, Beast Boy, at first slightly taken aback by her reaction to him, replaced his arm around her and began to lead her back to the sitting area near the entrance.

Shortly afterwards, the sound of running footsteps could be heard behind them, and then the alarmed voice of Nightwing, questioning, "What happened?" Suddenly, feeling irritated by his former friend, Beast Boy looked back at the confused form of Nightwing, and gave him a dark look. Noticing a rather hurt and disgruntled look behind the other's mask, Beast Boy decided he was pleased with the impact he had made, and continued to lead Raven over to the sitting area where a disturbed looking Cyborg stood.

As Beast Boy led Raven over to the couch and settled into it with her, he looked up into the stare of Cyborg, as if to say "_What?"_ Cyborg, who was still frozen somewhere between standing and sitting, looked away, confused by the sight of Beast Boy with Raven, who was never really taken with the changeling. Looking up to see what their old leader had to think, Cyborg found Nightwing still distractedly surveying something around the corner from which Raven and BB had just returned.

Finally, noticing the awkward look he had been receiving from across the room, Nightwing tried to act cool as he threw his old partner a detached shrug and advanced toward the sitting area. As he came around to the left of the couch he paused for a moment, also surprised to find Raven still in BB's arms. BB, who had been staring down at floor, looked up at him to show an almost equally surprised face, when suddenly Raven thrashed out her left hand. Two streaks of bright, white light flew from her palm and slashed straight through Nightwing's hair. Before the other three had figured out what had just happened, they watched as several, long, thick locks of Nightwing's dark black hair drifted to the ground and one into his opened palm. As Nightwing stared, shocked, down at the lock in his hand, Cyborg and BB, jaws dropped, observed the old short and pointy Robin-style cut Raven had just given their host.

"Whoa," BB breathed in amazement, the first one to break the silence.

"Long hair just doesn't suit you, Robin," Raven announced in her usual monotone, now looking at Nightwing as she drew her hand back inside her cloak and leaned away from BB.

They watched as their former leader, now the only one still standing, quaked for a minute in anger. Preparing for Nightwing to explode, they were surprised, when he managed to suppress his anger and simply drop the hair on the floor. He then coolly walked over to a small icebox from which he tossed each a soda.

The sounds of clicking and fizzing filled the cave as each of the former teammates opened their sodas and as Nightwing joined the others around the coffee table.

"I'm guessing that you don't entertain too often," Raven said as she set her soda can down into the thick layer of dust covering the coffee table.

"No, actually I don't," Nightwing replied with a weak smile, now looking down at the coffee table as well. Someone had written in the layer of dirt covering the table the words, "DuST ME!" All looked over at Beast Boy.

Suddenly realizing that he had become the center of attention, the changeling laughed nervously as he quickly swept the words away with a gloved hand.

"Well…so what have you guys been doin' for the last 20 years?"


	2. And So The Drifting

A/N: Thanks so much for your speedy reviewing lil' LIK Star, ally127, pink-fuzzy-buddha, and Knyt3-0wl! Well here's more; R&R so I know to keep going!

Disclaimer: I still do not own the Teen Titans or Nightwing...still wishing I did, though...

_Back to the Past  
_Chapter Two: And so the Drifting...

"Well...so what have you guys been doin' for the last 20 years?" Nightwing asked casually, as if this was an everyday topic of small talk.

"Oh, well, the usual stuff..." Beast Boy answered.

"Just been hangin' round the Tower..." Cyborg responded.

"Training my mind..." Raven replied.

"I see. So not much has changed since I left..." Nightwing said, trying to ignore the vagueness of their answers.

"Uh, well actually..." Beast Boy hesitantly decided to supply after a moment of awkward silence. _(Goes into a flashback)_

"_It was pretty rough when you blew up at us and just left all those years ago..."_

"Robin, we've been trying to find her all night. We've gotta at least take a break for t'night," a young Beast Boy said to his friend's turned back.

"No! We have to find her!" Robin yelled angrily whipping back around into the three weary faces of his teammates.

"Robin, it's not that simple, we're gonna need some time--" Raven said calmly, attempting to reason with their leader.

"Time! TIME! Every minute that we waste standing around here not looking, she might have come back and be wandering around out there somewhere!" he snapped back.

"If she had come back, I would've been able to contact her," Raven reminded him.

Robin ignored her statement. "We just have to get her back!" he growled under his breath, almost to himself. "Cyborg, can't you build something to reopen the wormhole?" he asked, almost demanded, desperately as he turned to Cyborg.

"Man, I only wish I had that kinda technology; I don't know anything about time travel!" Cyborg replied with his hands out before him, as he took a step back from Robin. "And even if I did, we have no idea where or _when_ to look for her!"

Robin just stood there staring at his teammates for a second, taking in what Cyborg had just said. The look in his eyes almost seemed to show that he knew what his friends were saying made sense, but his anger at his own failed attempt to stop Star from entering the wormhole, didn't want to believe them.

Raven, Cyborg, and Beast Boy watched silently as Robin's face grew flushed with rage as he whipped out his opened hand and directed it toward the small heap of beads Starfire had dropped in middle of the room before the call. "Don't you guys care about finding her?" he angrily questioned.

"We _do_ care, Robin. It's just we don't _know_ how to find her," Raven answered, sounding slightly irritated by Robin's unfeeling remark toward them.

Robin narrowed his eyes at her reply. "Fine, if you guys aren't gonna help, then I'll find her myself!" Robin yelled as he crossed the room to the door and yanked it open. Looking back only once, he stepped over the threshold, and slamming the door behind him, left.

In a last ditch attempt to bring their friend back, Beast Boy ran across the room, and throwing the door open, dashed out into the hall. "Robin, we'll help you look!" he yelled down the hall to the Boy Wonder, but Robin didn't even look back as he turned the corner.

Slightly hurt by the iciness he'd received from Robin, BB's ears drooped, as he looked down at the floor in despair.

Out of nowhere, he felt a gentle hand rest on his shoulder. Looking up sadly, he found Raven standing next to him.

"Try to forget about it. He just needs time to cool down; he'll be back in the morning," she said calmly.

_(Flashback ends)_

"Yeah, I still remember that day," Nightwing said, not even attempting to hide his deep regret. "I searched the city for her for about a month, hoping that I might just see her one day. Finally, I guess I just gave up and went back here to Gotham, and became Nightwing when my old mentor retired. Before I found out that you guys had left too, guess I figured that I couldn't show my face around Titans' Tower again. Not after all the things I'd said, anyway," he finished, smiling sadly to himself.

"Dude, you know that's not true! You made us mad, but if we'd been there, we would've taken you back!" Beast Boy corrected Nightwing.

"But you weren't," Raven reminded him coldly.

"Leaving that day has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life," Cyborg sighed as he took another sip of his soda.

"Same here. And to think it was all over a dumb frying pan," BB added.

"It was a skillet."

_"Whatever." (Goes into a flashback)_

"Well, look on the bright side, Beast Boy, at least it's breakfast time," Beast Boy assured himself the next morning as he shuffled across the room and opened the door to the cabinet hanging over the toaster. "Yup, nothin' like tofu to get the day started right," he said drearily as he tiredly dragged the dented, metal pan from the bottom shelf.

"Bleh. Tofu? No way. We're havin' ham and eggs," a mysterious voice coming from the refrigerator contradicted him.

At first, slightly frightened by the thought that the refrigerator itself might be talking to him, Beast Boy jumped back a step, and held the pan back defensively, prepared to take the phantom fridge down with a swift blow.

Then, to his relief, as he wasn't really sure he could take out an entire refrigerator with nothing but a frying pan, and dissatisfaction, Beast Boy watched as Cyborg's head popped up from behind the opened refrigerator door.

"No way!" Beast Boy said, now clutching the pan protectively against his chest, his back toward Cyborg in an extra effort to further block the pan from attack. "I got to the frying pan first this morning, and I say we're having fried tofu for breakfast!"

"Dude, it's a skillet."

"Whatever you wanna call it, I got it first!" Beast Boy exclaimed, turning back to the fridge to stick out his tongue at his breakfast time adversary. When he looked back, though, he was surprised to find that Cyborg had once again ducked back inside the fridge without a word.

Satisfied that he'd won that morning's fight for the frying pan, Beast Boy headed over to the counter adjacent the cupboard and set the pan down as he reached up into the shelves for an unopened package of tofu. Finally yanking the box down from one of the top shelves and unwrapping it, he dug out a heaping pile of tofu with a spoon, and closing his eyes with glee he turned back to counter where he had left the pan. Wanting to see the tofu land in the pan, he opened his eyes at the same time as over turning the spoon, only to watch in horror as the heap slid off the spoon onto the countertop.

Turning around quickly to face the stove, he found to his anger, that the pan was already sitting on the back burner loaded with one large ham steak and two raw eggs.

Cyborg, who had gone back into the fridge for a third egg, now returned, egg in hand as he casually tapped it against the edge of the countertop. Without much thought, he split the shell over the stove, only to be caught off guard as well, when he found himself staring at the plump, yellow yoke as it seeped down between the coils of the electric stove's burner.

Breaking his stare from the burner, he looked up just in time to watch the changeling give him an annoying grin and then turn-tail, skillet in hand, in the direction of the kitchen trash can.

"WHY YOU LITTLE--YOU BETTER NOT EVEN THINK OF PITCHIN' MY BREAKFAST!"


	3. Tameranian Legend Fulfilled

A/N: A little disgruntled to find that were no reviews on chapter two, but I'm that may have to do with the way I uploaded it…. Here's chapter three, hope you like it! (Don't forget to answer the reviewer question at the beginning of chapter one!)

Disclaimer: not…owning…Teen Titans…or…Nightwing…

_Back to the Past_

Chapter Three: Tameranian Legend Fulfilled

"WHY YOU LITTLE--YOU BETTER NOT EVEN THINK OF PITCHIN' MY BREAKFAST!" Cyborg raged as he dashed after Beast Boy.

At that moment, Raven, who had just come down from her room to find out who had dared disturb her morning meditation, raised one eyebrow at the sight of the refrigerator door swinging open on its hinges. Using her powers, she slammed the door shut, revealing behind it a battling Cyborg and Beast Boy.

"TOFU!" Beast Boy growled, yanking at the rim of the pan, straining to keep hold of it. "This is the one and only frying pan in the Tower, and I had it first, so we're having tofu!"

"Man, nobody likes tofu! We're havin' ham…and…eggs!" Cyborg grunted, gripping the black, plastic handle on the opposite side of the pan.

"Guys, it's just a pan," Raven said in an almost bored voice as she watched the contents of the pan slosh back and forth between her teammates. "Why don't you--" she began.

"Errr, Raven, why don't you just stay out this!" Beast Boy interrupted furiously, struggling to keep hold of the metal rim.

"Yeah, this doesn't concern you!" Cyborg added harshly, also focusing on the pan.

At that moment the sound of cracking plastic filled the kitchen as the pan's handle came away in Cyborg's grasp. Beast Boy, who had been pulling at the pan with all his might, now released his end as he went toppling backwards into the closed refrigerator door.

The two now watched as the base of the frying pan sailed away, spinning in what seemed like slow motion. Spewing bits of food as it went, the flying pan began to lose altitude, finally crashing into the kitchen floor only a few feet away.

Beast Boy, still leaning against the fridge, now looked over at his friend. Cyborg, who was staring furiously at the overturned pan, now tightened his grip on the broken handle and crushed it into near nothingness.

"That's it. I'm outta here," he said, dropping a small pile of remnants left over from the handle. Beast Boy watched in silence as Cyborg walked through the kitchen, avoiding the pan, and then proceeded to open the door. He paused for a moment before walking through the doorway, and then just as Robin had, he too left, pulling the doorknob along behind him. For a moment BB just sat and watched door, half hoping it would open again and that Robin and Cyborg would come back. Realizing that wasn't going happen, he got up from his spot on the floor, and went over to retrieve the egg covered base of the pan.

(_End of flashback)_

Cyborg was now looking down into the bottom of his half-empty soda can. "No doubt about it, I guess I just lost it between Star's disappearance, your leaving," he began gesturing toward Nightwing, "an' just feeling like I had to have that dang pan for some reason…. If only I had figured out that it just wasn't worth leaving over before drivin' off…."

"Dude, I'm sorry," Beast Boy said looking up at him from across the coffee table.

"Hey, it's okay…. Man, but I really thought I could just drive forever after that," he said, half a smile on his face. "Heck, I actually did make it out five days traveling at top speeds, of course that was before my power cell malfunctioned and all the energy drained out of it. As it was, I was forced to connect up to the T-car in order to get enough energy to get myself back to the Tower.

"Unfortunately, when I got back to the tower I was depressed to find that my charger was still out from the last time I'd used. I tried to repair it, but the thing was just shot. That's when I gave up all hope and just connected up to the Tower's generator, making myself a prisoner of my own jail," Cyborg finished sadly.

"But, then how did you get out tonight?" Robin asked him.

"Well, when I put some thought into it, I figured out a way to run the energy left from generator over to my old power cell. It worked like a charm, except I'm not really sure what I'm gonna do when this cell runs out…." Cyborg replied.

_"And then, that's pretty much when I left, too…"_ Beast Boy said next, remembering back again to that same fateful day. _(Goes back into the flashback)_

"Guess I won," he whispered to himself as he bent over to pick up the pan. "Hey, Rei, how 'bout some fried tofu?" he called with a smile, turning back to where she had been previously standing. His grin faded quickly, though, when he realized that she was gone. "Raven?"

Before he knew it, Beast Boy found himself in the hall upstairs in front of the door marked "RAVEN".

He knocked twice against it, softly with the flat part of his fist. "Rei? Raven?" he said, timidly at first. "Raven, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you before…. Please come out," he whispered desperately as he leaned his forehead against the closed door before him.

He listened as no answer came except the sound of glass shattering from somewhere deep within the room. Letting a long and heavy sigh out, he leaned back away from the door and walked slowly down the hall. Upon reaching the top of the stairs he turned back to take in one last final look at all of their rooms lined up along the corridor. Once satisfied that the image was imprinted on his mind, Beast Boy looked sadly down at floor and then made his way down the stairs, through the main room around the kitchen, and out the door, wishing that it wasn't over yet.

_(End of flashback)_

"So that's when I decided to go solo, and let's just say that things didn't go as well for me as they did for, you," Beast Boy said, glancing up from bending the pop-top of his soda can back and forth to look at Nightwing. "And it was after about a year of that, that I thought I'd take a "break" from the superhero stuff and take up "showbiz" for a while, therefore marking the beginning of my 19-year down slide as an "entertainer," he continued, stopping himself when finally the little metal tab had snapped away from its fastener.

The group sat silently for a few minutes, sad and disturbed to hear their normally upbeat friend sound so defeated.

"Well, I guess you're all probably expecting me to say what happened to me next…." Raven said finally, staring off into space.

Shocked that Raven was actually going to tell them something, they all looked up at her in surprise.

_"After BB left, I must have stayed in my room meditating for at least seven hours," _she began. _(Goes into flash back)_

"BB? Cyborg? Robin?" Raven called as she walked down the stairs, slowing to a stop as she came to the main room.

There wasn't a single light on in the room, but the gigantic picture window, which took up the entire back wall of the Tower, allowed a gloomy, gray light from outside to wash over the room, casting shadows everywhere. Raven stood silently looking out the magnificent window for a moment. The weather seemed to show just how she felt as she observed the large and ominous storm cloud that stretched out above the entire vista. She watched as the wind picked up and as the trees began to bend to its will, while the choppy water in the bay slapped viciously against the rocks.

Turning away from the view as a heavy downpour began to beat against the glass, Raven walked behind the tall breakfast bar into the kitchen area. Looking around the kitchen, she not only sensed that everyone was gone, but knew they were as she stared around at the still food splattered floor and countertops.

Glancing to her left she noticed the broken skillet sitting on the countertop. It was now crusted over with dried egg from sitting out uncleaned for so long. Looking at the disgusting piece of junk, Raven was suddenly consumed by a deep rage. Enraged that Starfire was gone, enraged that Robin had deserted them, enraged that Beast Boy had yelled at her, enraged that she hadn't forgiven him, and enraged that he and Cyborg had left and that she hadn't stopped them. Raven closed her eyes as a great surge of power washed over her. Suddenly she heard the sound of glass breaking all around her as cracks ran through the glass on the microwave and oven and as the television screen exploded outward. Her hair now blowing back with all of the power that was surrounding her, Raven opened her eyes, which now glowed red with fury.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Raven shrieked looking at the frying pan before her and lifted it above her head with her powers. "WHY DID THEY ALL LEAVE?" she screamed as she sent the pan sailing through one of the glass panels of the window across the room from her. She stood for a minute, her fists clenched in fury, as she observed the rain blowing in through the hole the pan had made in the glass, the sounds of thunder and wind now filling the room. Raven then abruptly shot her right hand out in the direction of the door, which swung open violently under her command. Closing her eyes and then levitating herself, she flew out the open door, which in her power, slammed itself shut behind her.

_(End of flashback)_

"And that's when Trigon came out. At that point, whatever rational part of me that remained, knew I couldn't handle myself, so I sent myself into solitary confinement…but even when I'd resumed control of my power and had resolved my anger, I had no will left to leave," Raven finished, her stare still unwavering.

For the following fifteen minutes silence overcame the confined sitting area like word-stifling plague, as each lost him or herself in the task of finishing the last few gulps of soda. Between sips they pretended that there was absolutely nothing awkward about the ensuing quiet and cautiously avoided eye contact.

Then it was time to go. With Nightwing in the lead, the group soon found themselves bathed in the silver light of the moon. It really wasn't much of a goodbye; each acknowledged one another in a way that opposing athletes might before a match. And with that, Raven dissolved into the folds of a black raven's wings, Beast Boy took to the sky as a majestic hawk, Cyborg gunned the T-car, and even Nightwing escaped on his motorcycle.

_I guess Starfire was right about the drifting, _Nightwing thought to himself as he turned up off the dirt road onto the empty highway that seemed to extend before him like a thick black ribbon. Her pretty face looked up into his eyes as the Jump exit drew closer in the empty night. He let himself be pulled into the far right lane and onto the ramp as he watched her turn to go.


	4. The Only Place

Author's Note: Well, you might think of this sort of as the beginning of a second arch that pretty much came out of me just fooling around with an idea. On with the show!

Disclaimer: I do not, I repeat, I DO NOT own the Teen Titans or Nightwing, so there.

_Back to the Past  
_Chapter Four: The Only Place

It had been all wrong. Beast Boy had learned to live with regret, but tonight, as his strong, sharp wings sliced through the crisp February air, he knew that he had just made the second gravest mistake of his life. _Why'd I have be such a jerk back there? _he persecuted himself. _Why didn't you do something? _he thought, as his regret rose to the surface. Why didn't he hold Raven longer? Why did he have give his friend the cold shoulder? He himself was just as much at fault. Why didn't he try to talk to them longer? Why hadn't he tried to savor their time together? It was all he had now. Why hadn't he apologized to Raven? He had pretty much caused the ultimate destruction of her life….Why? Why hadn't he had enough courage to speak up and do what everyone else wanted to, but couldn't…. Courage, that was a laugh. His cage down at the old boardwalk was the symbol of his courage; _Yeah right, courage, _he thought,continuing his self-lashing. There was no way he was going back to that piece of metal crud right now, it probably would have made him cry, it was just another reflection of how everything had just…turned to crud….

Circling around the top of the familiar building he descended down on to it, landing regally next to the south wall. It had been a while since he'd flown that far, and he hadn't done too badly. He cheered himself as he ruffled his wings and looked out across the southern horizon.

An icy breeze chilled his feathers from behind and he looked over his right shoulder. Slightly startled see her white cloaked figured standing there, yet at the same time almost knowing that it would be, he shifted back into his natural form and turned to face her. She was so beautiful standing there with her hood down, the lunar rays illuminating her soft face and deep eyes, as the breeze passed gently through her hair.

"Fancy seeing you here," he said, surprised by how calm and cool he had made his voice sound.

"I knew you'd be here," she said in her soft monotone, looking away from the sapphire waters in the bay toward him, as he came to stand next to her by the western wall.

"Really?" Beast Boy asked, shocked that she had come here to see _him_.

"Uh hm," Raven nodded, closing her eyes with a small timid smile.

His eyes were wide as she looked into them and then down and out toward the shifting water in bay.

"I wanted to thank you for earlier this evening," she said without looking at him, her voice stronger and clearer now.

"Oh, that…" he replied distantly, his mind still going over how she looked at him moments before. "It was nothing…" he added, softening his stare, as he came back to reality.

"Earlier…I wanted to say sorry about everything," he apologized softly looking down and away from her, his heart heavy with shame. "I just…didn't _think_. Well, I did, but not enough--" he continued, his brow furrowing with frustration.

"It's okay," Raven stopped him with final isolation, as she looked at him out of the corner of her eye.

"Thanks," he whispered, looking up to meet her gaze. For a moment time almost seemed to slow to a stop, and the fog that had blocked their vision seemed to lift, letting each truly see the other's feelings.

Suddenly the moment was shattered, though, as the fog reappeared suddenly and time left them behind with the sound of a loud crash of metal behind them. They both turned almost instantly, ready for anything, but all that they saw was the back of the heavy metal door that opened from a stairwell inside The Tower up onto the roof.

"Alright you punks! I know yer up here! Come on, show yerselves! The Old Loser's not afraid to fight!" yelled an angry voice from behind the door, which slowly creaked back on its rusty hinges to reveal the back of their robotic friend. His canon was poised and ready as he surveyed the eastern side of the roof.

"Cy?" Beast Boy questioned, as he and Raven lowered their defenses. He slowly looked over his shoulder at them. There was a look of complete shame and utter humiliation on his face.

"Oh, I thought…" he said quietly, his entire body now facing them, but his head lowered almost like a shield, as the canon shifted back into his arm.

"Uh maybe we should go--" BB said with a step back, beginning to pivot in the opposite direction. Raven made similar moves in the same direction.

"Wait!" Cyborg said with undisguised urgency, his arm partially outstretched toward them. "Please. Don't go," he pleaded. Beast Boy and Raven turned back toward him.

"I heard sounds on the roof, and I thought it was this group of kids, but forget about it…. What are you guys doing here so late?" Cyborg asked.

"I couldn't think of another place I wanted to be," BB said at the same as Raven's monotone "I came to see him."

The changling and the goth looked at each other.

Raven's heart skipped a beat. _Good job. _Raven thought angrily to herself. _Nice Freudian slip._

_So she did come to see me!_ Beast Boy thought. For a moment he felt like a kid again as the pace of his heart quickened. It was stupid, but he felt silly…embarrassed.

Cyborg stared for a moment at them. He remembered a time when the two had really, just, almost…he searched his mind for the appropriate expression…loathingly liked each other. They had always had a rather complicated friendship, so to speak. It was strange to see it reappearing here tonight.

Snapping back to reality, Beast Boy thought to himself, _Dude it's not gonna happen, _and with that painfully tore his glance from Raven in much the same way one rips away a Band-Aid. It can't stay, but you know it's going to hurt, no matter how you do it, so you suck it up and get it over with fast. He looked at the run down city in the background that had once been their beautiful Jump and sucked it up. _It's over. Things will never be like they used to be. You're never gonna see these people again. Today was just some freak thing, and nothing you're ever gonna do again is gonna be worth a damn thing._

His feelings, now raw and stinging, told him he had to walk away now, because all this was a waste hope he didn't have. Looking down at the concrete slabs of the rooftop, Beast Boy's brow furrowed and he announced tonelessly, "I have to go."

Leaving his former friends wide-eyed and confused, Beast Boy turned his back on them and began walking toward the western wall, but just as he was about to shift, he stopped.

He opened his mouth, his true thoughts rushed to the surface, and before he could stop himself, the words spilled out like water. He was making a mess of his plan to just walk away, but he didn't care: "You know what," he started softly and then getting steadily louder, "today was like some kind of crazy dream, in fact I'm not sure whether to call it a dream or a nightmare, but I've felt so many feelings that it must have been for real, even if doesn't seem like it. I stared almost every part of my past right in the eyes in the last several hours, and I swear it slapped me right across the face. There isn't a day that I don't regret the choice I made, and I haven't had a better moment in 20 years than when we defeated Warp this afternoon. And here I am making the same mistake for the third time…you'd think I'd learn by now…. I just wish it wasn't over yet." Beast Boy finished, shakily whispering the last part. A gust of frozen wind cut through the group and then all was silent.

"It doesn't have to be."


	5. For All the Loyalty

AuThOr'S nOtE: Welcome back! Today, I am going to step out of character for a bit, and ask you all to please do me two favors I usually try not to flat out ask of my readers. 1) Please, all of you, review, even if you don't have an account, review. It doesn't have to be long, advice is wonderful, but at least just tell me what you thought of it. 2) Please recommend this story. Recommend it to your friends, to your family, fellow authors, to anyone whowill to listen! Reviews>More Happiness>More Writing. So, remember the two 2 R's: Review, Recommend. –Ok!

_Back to the Past  
_Chapter 5:For All the Loyalty

"It doesn't have to be."

His voice cut through from behind, clear and distinct, like an arrow parting the air in its path. Beast Boy was the first to see him as he raised his eyes and looked past the dumb stricken faces of Raven and Cyborg.

Raven saw the surprise in the changeling's eyes and turned around, the surprise passing to her eyes, and then to Cyborg's.

Beast Boy felt like his brain was on ice. "How long have you been here?" he questioned; it was the only thing he could think to say.

"Long enough," Nightwing said stepping down from the edge of the wall onto the roof. "And you're right," he said looking at his green friend as he stepped into the circle. "It doesn't have to be over, in fact, it shouldn't be. Something's gone wrong; none of this is the way it should be."

He wasn't catching his former leader's drift. "What do you mean?" Beast Boy asked as he, Raven, and Cyborg looked at Nightwing in a confused way, critically, almost as if the man in front of them had completely flipped his lid.

But Nightwing was far too caught up in his theory to notice the madman's glare he was receiving. "Don't you see? I've been going over it in my head over and over. We sent Starfire back to the past with the Clock of Eternity, right? We all saw her enter the wormhole didn't we?"

"Robin--," Raven started, her eyebrows raising sympathetically, not even thinking about what she had just called him.

"Look, give me a sec here; humor me." Nightwing cut her off, raising his hands out before him, asking for a moment to make his case.

"Alright, Rob, we did. We saw her go back. Now, what are you trying to get at?" Cyborg said with some doubtful impatience.

"None of this is right. If Star went back, then we should have stayed together, and if we stayed together then none of this should have existed more than a second past the moment went Star stepped through that vortex," Robin concluded.

For a moment Beast Boy didn't understand. But then it came to him.

Raven stood sadly for a moment wishing that there was still hope, sad that her old friend had been so disillusioned as to fantasize this idea. She looked to Beast Boy. At first, she saw in his eyes the cutting stare of a man who knew he had just been told a lie. Then her surprise she watched the sharpness die away and melt into the softness of shocked understanding and joyful disbelief. For a moment she could have sworn she saw the glisten of a tear in them as she watched him look up to Nightwing. She looked to Cyborg who apparently saw it too, but as she, could not see the significance of this. _What difference could this possibly make? _she asked herself.

"You're right." Beast Boy said to Nightwing. "But that'd mean that something bad happened to Star…" he trailed off, suddenly realizing the full extent of things.

Raven's brow creased slightly as she thought about this. When she thought she fully understood she spoke: "So, what you're saying is if Star went back then she would've kept our friendship together, and we never would have had that fight--"

"—none of us would have left--" Cyborg filled in.

"—and we wouldn't be in such a bad way." Beast Boy finished.

"That's right," Nightwing said excitedly. "But we're still like this, so that means something must have happened to keep her from returning, not necessarily a bad thing, she may have just landed somewhere a year or two off. It's probably just a matter of finding her."

Raven's heart had been racing with hope, until it tripped over a major wrinkle in their grand plan. "But here we are faced with the same problem we had 20 years ago," Raven notified them despairingly, "we know what happened to her but have no idea or way to go where or when she went."

Beast Boy's heart fell from his chest at this. _She's right he thought._ The irony of it laughed evilly in his face for letting himself lift his hopes so high of out the dust.

"Not exactly," Cyborg spoke up as he looked at something in his hand. "This time, we have this," he said lifting the rounding object up into the light of moon; it was the piece that Starfire had ripped off Warp's suit in the wormhole.

"Do you think you could....?" Nightwing questioned hopefully.

"I can't promise anything, but I can try, if you guys are willing to."

"I'm in," BB said stepping forward wearing a ready grin.

"Me too," Raven added, a small smile on her face as her hair shifted slightly in the gentle, evening breeze.

"I'm game," Cyborg said with a warm smile that did the lines that had formed at the corners of his mouth better justice than his usual frown ever could.

They now looked to their former leader. A smile crept across his face and his eyes filled with sentimental joy as he was touched by their returned loyalty.

"Just like old times," Nightwing said quietly, his voice breaking a little.

"Alright!" Cyborg cheered happily as he took his friend's hand and shook it roughly as BB slapped him on the back and Raven came to stand between Nightwing and the changeling, placing an arm around each in one of her rare moments.

Above, the full, winter moon shined brightly down on them from the heavens, its silver rays gracing the beginning of something new.


	6. The Reaction

Author's Note: Hey, here's more, right on schedule according to _New Year's Eve With Jimmy B.  
_If you're in the neighborhood, check my bio page for upcoming attractions/updates.... This chappy's sort of just a little filler between the lines, I thought you mind find it interesting. Also, another special thanks to RaeBBfolife for reading and reviewing both of my TT fics! :) Now, here you go!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titan's, Titans Tower, or Jump City, but the rest is mine, ALL MINE!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!

_Back to the Past  
_Chapter Six: The Reaction

The fact that there was light coming from within the busted-up, old, "T" shaped tower did not remain unnoticed by the citizens of Jump for very long. The rumors and stories that ensued on the topic were so numerous, that any newcomer to the city would have though the inhabitants to be obsessed with it. People all over the city were fascinated by it, although most had no idea why the strangely shaped building had been erected in the first place.

With this sudden interest, oddly enough, came another phenomenon. Down at the city's public library, it had been noted that several books had disappeared from the dust encrusted shelves there. Interestingly, they all happened to be on the same topic: a group named the Teen Titans. Once doing an inventory check, the librarian had noticed this, however, but quickly dismissed it figuring who else was going to want books again on what she guessed was just another old and forgotten, B rated bunch of musicians? Her eldest son couldn't even remember a single song by them, let alone the group's name.

At night, planning pranks on the dilapidated tower had become quite common. Children were known to dare each other to ring the ancient visitor buzzer that flickered with age alongside the rusted iron handle of the old industrial looking door. Of course, none were brave enough to succeed. Occasionally, older teens, who were not quite as wary of the ghosts that were said to have haunted the place, would drive by and egg the windows, but it never seemed to get much of a rise out of whoever was in there.

But, of all the things that came about at the same time, the most amusing were the rumors and the sightings. And, without a doubt, the newspapers were in heaven. In an article of the Jump Gazette, on the authority of one "good source" it had been said that "there absolutely were ghosts haunting the old structure" and that the source had in fact _seen_ them "with his own two eyes". However, it was omitted from the scoop that those eyes were most likely red and blood shot, as their owner had just stumbled out of a local bar shortly before claiming to have seen these paranormals. There were more sober sources as well, who claimed that they had seen things, too. A little girl told a reporter that she swore she saw a half-human, half-robotic man in Middle Park, but unfortunately did not have her camera-phone with her at the time. An elderly woman insisted to Walter Skee of the City Times that for the past several nights she had seen a _green _cheetah dashing through the snow along the beach, right from her very own trailer-home porch. Oddly enough, though, the day the newspaper containing the report was sold, the cheetah was no where to be seen once the sun set, and the photos which had been promised to go to the paper's next edition, for a considerable sum, could not be taken.

There were many other similar stories, the best of them, though, was the one concerning Loose Screw Pete, which made the front page of the Jump Listener . Loose Screw Pete was the only soul willing to work the night shift at the Good Grocer supermarket at the corner of 65th and Wilhelm. Named and famous for his lazy eye, Pete had been working the night shift just as he did every night for the past 21 years that June. He had been standing at check-out number one's cash register, as usual, waiting for customers, when who should come to his line, but "this purty dame with straight, violet hair, cut kinda at a slant and wearing little else than this dark blue cape and a black leo-tard, and ma crazy eye dang near popped right outta ma head! And I says to myself, Pete, you know who that is! And so she was laying her stuff out on the line, I 'member clearly, jus' four things, one copy of each of the city's three newspapers an' box o' tofu, an' I yell out 'Well I'll be darned! It's Raven of the Teen Titans, disappeared darn near 19 years ago, come to ma line!'

"At first, she didn't say nothin', so I start scannin' her things through, an' all of sudden, she says in this deep, melancholy tone, 'It's been closer to 20.' By this time I finished baggin' it, so I look up at her, real startled like, damn near forgot what I was doin', and she's says, 'How much?'. Pointed to the screen, an' she gave me the money, exact change, an' a whisper of a 'Thanks.' An' she was gone."

However uneventful the account was, inevitably, it sold thousands of papers. The newspapers had their fun. The public got their daily chunk of city gossip. And that's just how things were those days.


	7. Together Again

Author's Note: I just want you to know that I'm burning the 3 a.m. oil for all you people out there...ha ha...extremely punchy right now, but anyway....

I would liketo announce that I am going to start answering reviews in this chapter as a way to show my appreciation to all my reviewers. First, I amafraid thatI am going to simply have to justsay"thank you sooooooo much" to **pink-fuzzy-buddha,Knyt3-Owl, ally127, lil' LIK Star, PPTeenBubbles, ILIKEYOURSTORY, **and** afterdark **since I would surely pass out trying to answer you all and I couldn't possibly give all of you the replies you deserve....So, please know that your reviews have made me extremely happy! :)

Okay, these are for those of you who reviewed last chapter:

Rose: Omigosh, I'mso sorry that I made youall depressed, but at the same time I'm so thrilled that my writing touched in such a way!Sadly, I don't think this update is much longer than the last, but I'm lucky I have this much....Anyway, at least it hasn't been months! ;)Thank you so much for all three of your reviews!

agelinajfan322: Hope your head's better now, because here's the update you asked for!

RaeBBfolife: Once again, awesome!!! I LOVEYOURBUNNY!!! Even the killer dust bunny that lives under my bed loves it!!! Yup, had to get the tofu in there.... :) ....He wouldn't be Beast Boy without it!

dancingirl3: Thank you! Voila! Your update! I love RaeBB, too, and I can assure you there will be more!

Well, thanks again to all you wonderful reviewers! Sadly, the next chappie could take anywhere from the middle of this week to the middle of next week to post, so please still keep your eyes peeled for it! Well, enough of me,let the reading start!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans, Nightwing,or any other show related stuff....However, I do own this extended plot, Jump city's newspapers, and the Good Grocer!

_Back to the Past__  
Chapter 7: Together Again_

It was about three o'clock in the morning when Raven returned to The Tower. She stepped off the edge of the plowed road and immediately crunched mid-shin deep into the freezing, salt covered snow. She shuffled through it uncomfortably around the side of the building, the layer of ice on top scraping her legs with each step. Finally she reached the door and latched dramatically onto the rusty handle, relieved. Fixated, and with only one accord, to get inside, she caught herself reaching for the dying light of the spazzing, little buzzer by the side of the door. Groaning, she pulled her hand back and looked over her shoulder. No rubberneckers rubbernecking from the road. No spies spying from the dunes. Not a sound sounding, except the annoying crinkling of the plastic Good Grocer bag swinging from her hand in the breeze. Robin had made it a point to always take a "_thorough_" surveillance check of the premises before entering The Tower. Alright then, done. Whether Robin would have considered it "_thorough_" was different story, but she quickly decided that when one factored in the distraction caused by the subzero temperatures out there, it was thorough enough. So, without hesitation or guilt, Raven spun back around on the buzzer, gave it a good rap with the back of her hand, flipped up the now loosened buzzer's grimed-up electrical cover, punched the entrance code into the hidden keypad beneath desperately, and wildly threw open the heavy door.

_Ahhhhh. _As the door slammed itself shut, a gust of toasty air rushed down on her from the low-energy heater fan that had been hung just inside the doorway. She climbed the dark, narrow, little stairway before her to the top and took ten steps around the corner to the left. As she pulled down on the warn door handle into the living quarters, she could already hear the happy sound of movement from inside. Crossing the threshold, Raven looked through the dim light of the five battery-powered camp lanterns that were stationed throughout the room; a sixth hung in the bathroom that was off the hall. The lanterns and several emergency candles had become their only source of light, as power in the generator was being saved for the essentials. She saw that Cyborg had unburied himself from the garage to take a short break from his project.

"Hey, Raven," he greeted her. "It still cold out there?"

"Like you wouldn't believe." she replied tonelessly, as he began scrubbing out a pan in the kitchen sink. She felt herself grin a bit. Normally, she would have quickly aborted any such emotional activity, but she suddenly couldn't help herself as this huge bubble of pure happiness welled up inside her chest. Of the few times she had experienced this funny, foreign, little sensation, it always took her by surprise, and despite the tight feeling it caused around her sternum, she enjoyed it. At that moment, she was completely content with her life, more so than she had been in years.

They were all living together in the Tower again. At first, settling in with each other had been a little awkward, finding things to say when silence became uncomfortable or waking up to find someone already in kitchen after 20 years of constant solitude. But, that didn't last long as routines became more regular and words came easier. They all woke together at 5 p.m. when night had fallen, so as to keep public notice down, and had helped one another adjust to their newly nocturnal hours with a few jokes here and there.

A plan had been made to find Starfire by tapping into the memory of Warp's continuum splicer and route themselves go to the same time she had gone. When Cyborg had first explained what would need to be done, they had all burst out laughing. The idea of it sounded no less preposterous than H. G. Wells' _Time Machine. _However, after thinking about it, as fantastic as this proposition sounded, really, what did they have to lose?

So, now, Cyborg spent his time down in the garage, slaving continuously over his work table, surfacing only in the morning, to turn on the generator, or to quickly get something to eat. At the same time, Robin, who they all now called "Robin" thanks to Raven's handy work that first night, shut himself in his old room for hours at a time, working out kinks and details for their upcoming excursion. In the meantime, Raven prepared her mind with meditation, made a few trips to the store when Beast Boy said he couldn't, and helped Robin plot their procedure.

Now, she walked from the doorway over to counter behind Cyborg and set the translucent plastic bag down.

"Got the papers and Beast Boy's tofu." she notified him as she removed one of the newspapers from the bag and unfolded it. "Went to the Good Grocer, it was sorta creepy: the line checker recognized me almost immediately seemed genuinely overjoyed to have me there. He acted like it had made his night or something. It almost sort of made me feel good in a weird way…."

"Yeah, he probably had some kind of digital camera on ya. It'll be interesting to see which paper those pictures'll end up in tomorrow." Cyborg replied, a smirk on his face as he set the clean pan on the counter next to the sink.

"Looks like someone from the City Times saw you in the park yesterday when you went to see Fixit." Raven said holding up the opened paper over the counter as Cyborg looked over her shoulder.

"Yeah, figures." he replied, his mouth slanted a bit disappointment. "Phew, man, I couldn't believe that ol' mechanic was still there. We talked for a while. It was good to see 'im. He was happy to give me the parts for my charger and the T-car and he wished us good luck finding her."

"Ah, more fan sitings?" Robin's voice entered the room through the darkness and he joined them at the counter. "I never thought it'd be this difficult to keep things quiet. Who'd known people who had seemed to completely forget we ever existed for 20 years, would become so suddenly interested again?"

"You know the saying: 'out of sight, out of mind.'" Raven answered, a solemn frown on her face.

At that moment they were all surprised as the entrance door flew open and none other than the fourth Titan dashed through it. "Hey, guys!" Beast Boy yelled excitedly as he slammed the door shut behind him. They were all watching him now as his eyes suddenly fell on the box of tofu, which was still wrapped in the Good Grocer bag in the middle of the counter. "YES! TOFU!" he shouted lunging for the carton. "Thanks, Rei!"

"Sure." She replied tonelessly, despite the mildly shocked look on her face.

"Jus' finished with the pan, B. Do you want it?" Cyborg asked, as the changeling rummaged through a dark drawer at the other end of the kitchen.

"No, that's ok." the green Titan replied rather off-handedly as he held up a silver utensil to the light. Deciding it was spoon, he continued, "Thanks, but I think I'll just go eat it downstairs, I'm too hungry to wait." And with that he was gone into darkness.

As soon as the sound of his footsteps going down the stairs had died away, the other three Titans regrouped and looked at each other in silent confusion for a moment.

Robin was the first to speak: "Do either of you know what he's been doing out there every night?"

Raven and Cyborg shook their heads "no".

"Yeah, I've been kinda wonderin' that myself, and if he's not out then he's downstairs. I guess it's not really my business, but I don't see him much, an' I don't wanna ask him… Beats me what he's doing downstairs though, he never used spend much time there before." Cyborg finished with a slight shrug. "Anyway, gotta get back to work…. See ya later guys."

"Yeah me, too," Robin said picking up the newspapers, and both he and Cyborg parted directions, disappearing into the dimness, leaving Raven alone in the kitchen.


End file.
